


Shades and Fragments

by Evenseven



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: 200 words each for now, Drabble Collection, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, No Beta, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, POV Second Person, Random & Short, Rating May Change, Various scenes threw together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:53:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24906376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evenseven/pseuds/Evenseven
Summary: Random Gerlonso drabbles, 200 words each.Some emotional rollercoaster and a sleep-deprived author involved.
Relationships: Xabi Alonso/Steven Gerrard
Kudos: 3





	1. 01-05

**Author's Note:**

> Update randomly with random themes put into random order. Probably won't always be 2rd person or 200-word, there may be some random AUs and random ratings, we'll see.  
> Plus, drabbles are not related to each other at all and I'm sorry for my bad writing. (Beta what beta??)

01\. Sentimental

It wasn’t even supposed to be a question, but they still asked how you feel about the club and the city. You had an answer prepared already, something like “Liverpool is always special to me” and “I will always remember my days in Liverpool.” You even prepared some further detailed answers in case of follow-ups, things like “there would be Liverpool fans greeting me wherever I go” and “I hope to visit Liverpool someday soon.” You emphasized your sentiments over and over again, but they seemed to never get enough of your confessions.

You were not the kind of person displaying affections overtly all the time, few of others realized it took you some courage to admit this attachment. But what else could you do? You couldn’t help but wonder if you needed to slice yourself open and present your heart to the world, so that people could finally understand your true feelings.

You couldn’t, because there was nothing else to showcase. The blood floating in your veins is crimson, the best years of your youth dedicated to a foreign country, the man you dreamed of every night belonged to this particular city. That’s all the proof you needed.

02\. White

You dreamed of the color of white, where the snow weighted at your shoulders and nothing else was in between you and him. Xabi smiled at you with his ever elegant countenance in the shirt of white, when twilight barely breached the corner of the sky. The way his mouth twisted looked too much like the day he bid you farewell, in front of your door with a suitcase in hand. Your chest was aching, yet you wished him luck for his career. He turned away and your world turned grey and black.

You realized it was a dream only when you recalled he left in a sunny afternoon in August, the sunlight stained golden orange on the grass and the back of his head. There was nothing white in your vision and snows never come in summer. It was warm yet you froze on the spot, blinking blankly as your lips went dry, your tongue tasted bitter.

It stung even more to think about the shirt he’s wearing in your dream, its color and the meaning behind.

The white snowflakes landed on your sharp cheekbones melted by your body temperature, as you sensed the moisture streaming down your face.

03\. Self-Consciousness 

You were in the locker room and when Xabi’s eyes fell on your body like that, all you could think about was how to keep your calm as captain. For a second you believed he did it on purpose, lurking behind his closet door when you changed your cloths, enticing you with those limpid amber pupils. It’s hard to repress the self-consciousness when you clearly knew he was observing your each and every move, so you acted differently without noticing it. You could feel your muscles tensed up a little, not to manifest your strength but because of your nerves. Like your body was trying to tell you that, nothing was more important than giving out your best behaviors.

It’s strange for it differed from playing football in front of the whole stadium, that at least you knew you were well trained and prepared for playing in the highest level of competition. But this, getting attention from your _crush_ , you had no idea what he would think of you and how you could prepare for this beforehand.

You closed your eyes and tried to ease your breathe, wishing the Spaniard would spot the best of you, what a dream.

04\. Lips

You were crazy about his lips, ever since the first time you met and you noticed how beautiful that subtle shade of light pink was. You had kissed those lips, bitten them even, tasted every bit of passion fruit mint inside his mouth which you craved. But the most insane moment you felt the attraction of those lips, was when he wrapped them around your index finger, while you were standing somewhere between your couch and bedroom. Xabi wetted his lips with his tongue a few times before parted them slightly, pressed the warm and soft texture on your finger tip, lazily gazed at you with his somewhat exotic eyes. You made an embarrassed sound right there but he didn’t wait to swallow your slim finger all inside his warm mouth, lips gliding up and down while his tongue tickling your sensitive finger tip. 

He seemed to be smiling at you and it’s too much, yet it’s not enough.

It’s never enough, so you pulled your finger out rather abruptly, delineating his wet lips as you spitting all the filth at his ears, about what else you wanted to do to him and where else his beautiful lips could kiss.

05\. Retirement

It scared you a little bit to talk about retirement when at the peak of your career, but you thought about it sometimes. You felt like you shouldn’t, but you only managed to fake a smile and said: “I want to retired one day in here, in Liverpool.” It’s not inappropriate at all, it’s exactly what they had expected from you to answer, but you felt a strange knot of anxiety as they captured you on camera.

Your rational mind told you it’s not a lie, you’re not a hypocrite, but it weren’t supposed to be a promise either.

You were afraid of how things could go south in your future career, and it’s like a punch to the gut when you thought about how Xabi would retire. It hurt to think one day Xabi might leave him, go back to his own country, or even worse, go to another PL club. You searched for a reinsurance from him, asking the same question, anticipating a lie even, you didn’t care, you just wanted something to hold onto.

He gave you a warm smile and whispered: “Stevie, I want you to be happy.”

You too, but it wasn’t what you’re asking.


	2. 06-10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS ALERT: PL winner 2019/20 ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friends, it's a dream come true indeed...  
> All these years waiting for a spectacular win like this, I...I used to joke with friends that we'll have to wait till next life to see Liverpool as the champion again, and look at we now. :") It's an honor to witness this journey and I'm sure Xabi and Stevie would have a much stronger feeling than most of us ^^  
> (ps. thanks, Chelsea <3)

06\. Wrong

You were wrong about many things, like you thought it would be hard to communicate with another Spaniard as midfield partner, like you had doubts about his devotion to the club, like he was some intellectual scholar that cared nothing but himself and his books. None of that turned out to be true, as you felt a sense of genuine connection with him that you hadn’t experienced for a long time. Your bond was special and you should had known better than to judge a book by its cover.

You were wrong about all the skepticism and presumptions about his skills, when he passed the ball to you for the first time across fifty yards on the field. At that moment you started to wonder what else did you misinterpret about him, and he kept surprising you with his dazzling magic. 

He just stood there, and you fell in love. You fell hard and you kept discovering your mistakes. You thought you were meant for each other and thus you would be together forever, but of course, you were wrong again.

Sometimes you mused on when could you finally learn the lesson.

(It’s the hard lesson you never really learn.)

07\. Friend

You were friends before everything and you knew it just well, that you might always remain “friends” in the public eyes. You remembered the first time Mikel asked about it, you were battling indecisiveness of picking birthday gift for Steven.

“I’m stuck, both pairs of cufflinks are so pretty,” You sighed as you scratched the back of your head, “Look, this one has a bloodstone, perfect balance of dark green and red, it represents passion, vitality, and courage. And this one is with emeralds, which connects heart with intelligence, and represents unconditional love, it’s also the birthstone of May. What do you say?”

Mikel had stopped sipping the glass of white wine as he squeezed his eyes at you, crooked his left eyebrow which he did every time he found something intriguing or suspicious.

“What?” He didn’t answer so you continued, you could’ve sworn you didn’t blush, “Stevie is a friend. A close one.”

“Right…keep telling yourself that.” Mikel laughed, and you just realized you befriended with Mikel way longer than with Steven, and he could read your lines like an open book, “I would say the emerald one, you said his eyes are of the same color, no?”

08\. Flight

“I hate flight, especially the long one.” You rested your forehead at the window, looking out at the clear blue sky as you mumbled.

“What? It’s just to Moscow, Stevie, it’s not a long flight, and we will be there in a little over four hours.” Xabi who sat by your right side replied in a cheerful voice. You turned your head and saw him holding a magazine in hand, yet those warm hazelnut eyes gazed back at you under the dark lashes, those beautiful irises almost changed into a translucent color under the daylight.

“Still, I’m not used to taking airplane, I don’t like…” You swallowed back a word as you felt your heartbeat fastened, so you decided to close the window shade.

“You don’t like leaving home?” Xabi’s eyes shifted back to the normal color, dark and magnetized, where you found yourself drawing in again.

You almost forgot to breathe as you blinked at him blankly: “Y-yeah, was gonna say height, but that, too.”

“Don’t worry, Stevie,” Your favorite Spaniard laughed, his hand silently found yours and the warmth from him was strangely calming, “I’m here, with you.”

I know, you breathed to him, I love you.

09\. Summer

Summer always had special meaning to you, ever since you started to play in professional football. You would never deny the honor to fight for your country, but at times you wished you could have a longer summer to enjoy the dazzling sun ray.

The cooling sea breeze eased some of the burning when you were lying on the deck of a mall yacht, resting your head under the sunshade with a glass of icy Sangria on your side, and, of course, Xabi.

He wasn’t particularly fond of the idea of Ibiza for holiday plan, claiming it was too boring, but you dragged him here anyway. “God, what else do I need to get you to Spain?” You teased and he gave you a snort: “You don’t understand, Stevie, that place is packed during the summer. You’ll run into another yacht in every five minutes, and it’s gonna be someone you recognize from another football team on board.”

“Well, who cares about them?” You chuckled, landing a kiss on his slightly down-curved lips, “It’s the last week of our break, and I want to spend it in somewhere sunny, with you.”

He snorted again, but booked the tickets anyway.

10\. Champion

You couldn’t wait to share this news with him, so you dialed his number while pacing in your living room, in front of the big TV screen which showcased the celebration of Liverpool fans all around the world.

“I can’t believe it, we had been waiting this PL title for so many years,” You could hear the over-excitement in your own voice, “It’s really a dream came true.”

“I know, Stevie, I am as joyful as you are right now, mate.” The Spaniard replied over the line, “Liverpool has such a spectacular season this year, and I’m proud for the lads. I…I wish I could’ve won it with you.”

There were many regrets in your life and you had a hard time admitting to yourself that this may be the biggest one, yet something about the way Xabi saying it made your shoulders relaxed. It would be another dream come true indeed, you sighed silently, but it wasn’t a choice for you anymore and you knew better than drowning in past mistakes.

“I’m over it already, Xabs.” You smiled, it’s a new life you’re trying to embrace.

“I know,” He answered softly, “It still doesn’t change me mind.”


End file.
